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Summer at the Lunt-Fontanne Theater

Word of advice: if you're going to write a musical as god-awful as Summer, make sure there won't be a moment in it when your lead actresses will keep singing "enough is enough."

Because seriously, enough is enough.

I think that's my sentiment towards Broadway musicals in general. This season we've had a Disney theme park show, a teen movie-turned-musical, a jukebox musical better suited for a cruise ship, and Spongebob Squarepants (albeit the best of them all.) And it's not going to get any better, with another biomusical about Cher coming, as well as Pretty Women, King Kong, Beetlejuice, and Moulin Rouge. Help us, Hadestown, you're our only hope.

Summer might just be the worst of the musicals this season. Yes, Escape to Margaritaville is a lazy commercial for the Jimmy Buffet brand but the book to Summer is clearly afraid to make any sort of statement or opinion on its subject. It's afraid to really show Donna Summer in a poor light, which is often the case when the subject or the subject's family is involved in the development of the show. We're told bad things have happened to her (molestation in the church, anti-depressant use, domestic abuse, just to name a few) but nothing is developed or explored. And the book has Donna, who is narrating the whole thing, throwing out facts about what happened in her life. Like, "Oh, those little blue pills? Those things? Meh, whatever." Or, "oh, that time I was homophobic? I was just trying to get the girls in the crowd going." We see Donna contemplate suicide but we have no idea why, other than the very cliched "I have everything you could possibly want but I'm still lonely and sad."

We don't see what made Donna Summer Donna Summer. Other than constant references to her amazing voice and her being the Queen of Disco, we don't get anything about her writing process. Giorgio Moroder has what amounts to a cameo appearance. David Geffen is introduced in a throwaway bit. Paul Jabara is nowhere to be found. We don't get any insight into disco (except some weird lines about synthesizers, as though to justify why the musical is using synth players as opposed to string ones) or the era in which it reigned. And it's all very very sexless. How can there be a musical about the 70s and disco and the queen of it all without any sex?

And of course, the songs are shoehorned in there, the worst offenders being "On the Radio" and "I Believe in Jesus" (what is this even doing in this show?)  They didn't even try with "MacArthur Park." It was like Des McAnuff was like, "just get them to sing it to the rafters at some point." (The three Donnas, LaChanze, Ariana DeBose, and Storm Lever, all look and sound terrific but they do not transcend the awfulness of the material.)

Another major problem Summer has is that it's tacky. It all looks very cheap looking, especially the wigs (God, those wigs) and the costumes. We're talking cruise ship quality. Like someone just wanted to shoehorn those great, great songs into entertainment on the ship. This isn't Broadway caliber.

Summer has a bizarre concept in which the entire ensemble is female, and women play all of the smaller male roles. This would work better had the creative team had the guts to also make the larger male roles such as Donna's father, Bruce Sudano, and Neil Bogart, are played by men. So basically anyone with authority in her life is still being played by a man. And I think it's a cop out to have her love interests and husband played by a man. It's like they were too scared to let women play them, to see the concept, or better, the gimmick, all the way through.

But still, this seems to be a crowd-pleaser. Of course it is. You get to sing along (yes, it's encouraged in fact) to some terrific songs and everything is loud and colorful and there's confetti and disco balls and women belting to the high heavens. We've all become infants when it comes to our entertainment. Just make pleasing noises, just be colorful and shiny, and we'll all like it.

But my God, the wigs. The wigs!

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