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Cardinal by Greg Pierce at Second Stage

Sigh.

Sigh.

Lots and lots of sigh.

I really don't know what Second Stage was thinking with Cardinal.

Okay, okay, that sounds a little too harsh but honestly, this play is all over the place thematically, has no tension or rising action, and is so dramatically inert. Second Stage is billing this as a world premiere, and quite frankly, it's clear this needed a few more workshops and readings before it was fit for public consumption.

The plot is one that we've seen variations of dozens of times: a small town's (somewhere in upstate New York; Pierce never names it) economies is struggling so the mayor, Jeffrey, must come up with an idea to drum up revenue. His female advisor, Lydia, (at least I think that's what she's meant to be; again, Pierce never clarifies) who also grew up in the town decides it would be a great idea to literally paint the town red to attract tourists. (Why she has so much power to persuade and convince not only the mayor but the rest of the town is a mystery.) It kind of works but also attracts the attention of Chinese businessmen who begin to really alter the town, and not for the good of it.

(There's some other nonsense thrown in, which we'll eventually get to. I swear, Pierce was throwing everything at the wall just to see what stuck with this one.)

So it's a quirky little plot, and the characters are quirky. Lydia moved to Brooklyn and managed struggling indie bands before returning to Anytown, USA, whereas Jeffrey is on anti-depressants after a suicide attempt following a breakup with Lydia's sister, the oft-named but never seen Marcy. (Why a man like this would even run for mayor is beyond me, and much like everything else in the play, is never explored.) And then the nonsense with the Chinese businessmen kick in, which randomly occurs, and even more randomly is their willingness to partner with Lydia, who we eventually learn is half a million in debt. They join together to turn an old factory in the town (ah yes, this is also a "the factory shuts down and cripples the town" story as well) into a hospital that will specialize in eastern medicine. Eventually Jeffrey, who is scorned after his sexual relationship with Lydia goes wrong, finally shows he has balls and manages to turn the factory into a landmark.

I also forgot to mention that Pierce shoehorns the "people of the town" into the mix via a woman and her mentally disabled son (poor, talented Alex Hurt is stuck with such an embarrassing role) whose family-owned bakery has been a staple of the town for thirty-one years. They eventually sell to the Chinese, as a way of showing the downside to Lydia's ambition.

But ultimately, who cares? The town and characters aren't developed enough to really care about their plight. The town is just this abstract idea, and we're not given anything from Pierce to even be emotionally invested in anything that happens. There's no there there. Even the ending, which is tacky and cliched, is a dud because there's no build up. It's like Pierce said to himself, "crap! How am I going to wrap this up? I know! A gun! Nothing is more exciting than a gun!" But even the aftermath of it all, which I suppose is supposed to be poignant, just had me thinking, "c'mon, wrap this up."

Lydia is also one of the most cloyingly irritating characters I've ever had the displeasure of spending 90 minutes with in a theater. We are given no reason to root for her at all. She's abrasive and obnoxious, constantly overstepping her boundaries (whatever they are), repeatedly reminding us that she's Jewish (again, why this matters I don't know), plus she's got a reputation for being the town bad girl (she once caused a town-wide blackout) and she's manipulative. Not to mention the vulgar discussion she has with Jeffrey where she admits to watching he and her sister have sex and then fantasizing about it later on. (Overall there was a lot of discussion about coming in this play.) And Lydia ruins everything. Don't you forget that. Her character makes me wonder just what Pierce's issue is with women. They're okay to have around to have sex with but they will ultimately just make a mess of everything. (I mean, poor Nat gets shot at the end because of her, right? And Jason's life is probably altered forever because of his relationship with her.) Also, don't forget, women will break your heart and ruin your life. It's all their fault in the world of Cardinal.


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