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Escape to Margaritaville at the Marriott Marquis Theater

Full disclosure: jukebox musicals aren't my thing. I loved Rock of Ages and All Shook Up and had fun at Beautiful and On Your Feet but ultimately I think they're just a cheap attempt at a cash grab. And this has never been more apparent than at the new Jimmy Buffett jukebox show, Escape to Margaritaville.

The creative team behind Margaritaville understand the product they have. They're not trying to make the greatest musical of all time. They are just trying to appeal to the Parrotheads, the people who go to the theater to have a good time. And look, there's nothing wrong with having fun. My favorite show of the season (so far) is Spongebob Squarepants. It's fun and funny and adorable but also smart and well-done. It's clear the creators of the show wanted to create the best show possible. With Margaritaville, this is not the case at all. The whole thing feels cheap and insulting. It's like a theme park show, something you'd see on a cruise ship (and Buffett has cruise a whole line of cruises called the Five O'Clock cruise, so I'm sure this thing will make it onto those ships in the very near future).

Is it okay for a show to exist just to be fun and silly? Yeah, I guess so. But that doesn't mean the show has to be terrible. And let me tell you, the book by Greg Garcia and Mike O'Malley is exceptionally awful. The problem jukebox musicals always have is that they have to get the songs into the show somehow because it can't happen in an organic way. They have to be shoehorned in. But this has never been done worse than it is in Margaritaville. The female protagonist, Rachel, is from Cincinnati because it's mentioned in "Fins." Brick, the sweet but dim island bartender thinks of grapefruits and Juicy Fruit gum when he's worried because those things are mentioned in a song! The book seems to exist as an excuse to sing another song. Eventually they give up and decide, "screw the book, let's just put as many songs in as possible. "

The show has almost no conflict. There are obstacles (a volcano, a brutish fiance, being a workaholic, a missing shaker of salt) but at the first act break, the show feels complete. There's no momentum taking us into the second act. And then the second act wraps up plot points midway through and decides that people just really want to hear the songs so there's song after song after song until the finale. And all of the songs start to blend together because they're not particularly theatrical.

Now, Jimmy Buffett has a brand. There are Margaritaville restaurants, hotels, casinos, and resorts. I'm pretty sure I ate at a Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant about fifteen years ago. According to the site, Margaritaville is a "state of mind." It promotes relaxing, shirking responsibility, drinking, partying, and having a good time. It's all incredibly idealistic, and I can understand why someone would buy into it. And rest assured, this musical includes all of these things; it's essentially a 2:15 promotion for the brand. There's a ton of merchandise for sale in the lobby and you can buy $12 margaritas ($16 for the frozen ones!) So the whole endeavor feels almost icky. You want everyone to sit back and relax and have fun and enjoy themselves but you're doing it with capitalism and consumerism. It's all a part of the Buffett machine.

It's called Escape to Margaritaville but I just wanted to escape from it.

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